Ok. All summer I’ve seen commercials for the new Hawaii Five-0. I’m psyched. I was a big fan a million years ago, and I’ll probably watch it recast hipster style.
However, the thing about Hawaii Five-0 is the theme song. Its the theme song. You may have missed that, its the theme song! Well, yes, and the opening credits.
So I happen on the new Hawaii Five-0 opening credits all excited to hear this great song and see the new sequence, and well … its just plain thin. I’ve heard people complain about how opening credits are getting shorter and its true but its change. Change is ok. I liked the opening for LOST which was as short as it gets. But the open of the original Hawaii Five-0 was just perfect. It can’t be improved. You can’t improve it. Sorry. You can’t improve it. Its the only show I can think of where you had to be seated before the show started.
The new one? What is that a midi generated guitar? Its so thin! Give me the brass. I know the images have to change some, but … well, maybe they should have just left it alone.
This may sound like old folks bitching about the past again … so here. Just watch and compare:
Hopefully there’s still time to change the new one.
About a year ago, I had a really bad time, traveling for work.
This time, I got food poisoning, diarrhea, fever. Bad food from Wendy’s ™. Don’t ever buy their frozen cinnamon roll for breakfast. Whooo.
Did ya ever get that feeling that you just would rather throw up, than feel that your stomach was swelling and inflating? You keep belching thinking that will help.
It didn’t help.
Throwing up helped. Throwing up at the place of work I was visiting helped.
More birds. Various situations. I particularly like it when I get a sequence of a big bird landing like this Great Blue Heron. I think its a touch more elegant than the earlier post of the red faced Moorehen. Though I have a fondness for them too. And Cormorants [which aren't here]. I like Cormorants. Oh, and Coots too. My favorite duck like birds are Mallards, Cormorants, Coots and Moorhens.
My favorite wading birds are the Herons of all colors … and I like the Ibis too!!!
But my favorite birds are probably the Osprey, though, yes, I like all the raptors.
When I see a swan like this I think, “Do they really fly?”
I don’t spend a lot of time looking in the mirror. So when I noticed that I had two rogue hairs, over an inch long, one where a sideburn should be and one on my neck behind my ear … well …
It just made me wonder how many people have looked over my shoulder or whose shoulder I’ve looked over and saw those two stringy stragglers and thought “Ewwww!”
I don’t know anything about snails. But this guy was up on a wooden deck in the rail, seemingly loving it. I tried to move him to a better background spot – there was some bird poop nearby [which I later scraped away] but he was well stuck to the board.
I was just thinking, the two biggest threats to our Democracy are religion and money. People with both want things their way. So far we’ve done a fair job of keep religion at bay … ok, there’s the whole “In God We Trust” thing and the pledge of allegiance.
(Seriously just roll those words around in your head for a bit “pledge of allegiance”. Really? Swear an oath? What happened to free thinking?)
But the bigger problem we face right now is the corrupting influence of money on our politicians.
Our founding fathers, correctly, didn’t want a straight democracy. Too much mischief can happen when people’s emotions are riled up. Before long you could have 51 percent of the people saying someone doesn’t have the same rights as someone else.
So we elect representatives to speak, and hopefully think, a bit, for us. To at least spend their time working on issues that the farmers and shop owners couldn’t spend their time on.
Now, 4 lobbyists for each member of Congress? Are those lobbyists speaking for me?
For those of you whom have been following this blog recently, there was a large spike on the 18th in page views. So I tested to see if it was because of the mention of one pompous paragon of political insincerity.
The post about him didn’t generate half as much reaction as the prior post … which also referred to Facebook.
So maybe Facebook is why so many people ready my April 18th post. We’ll see…
And so we come to the end of President Obama’s first term. Here’s a few thoughts from me in no particular order.
Rahm Emanuel. My hunch is that he was picked to be the chief of staff for the same reason he was picked to be the house whip. He’s a tough guy who gets things done. From what I hear he’s a tough guy that people don’t like. Maybe its a good counterpoint to Obama’s nice guy quality. I keep thinking this one is a problem.
The Republicans. Excepting the two women from Maine, I think they’re all working against Obama. Affirmatively trying to delay and disrupt. Slowly down the pace of governance by forcing the reading of long bills, out loud, and other parliamentary tricks. The most admirable thing about the Republicans is their discipline. Excepting the two women from Maine, and yes possibly Lindsay Graham, yes I said it, they are consciously trying to defeat by delay.
I think a lot about the cloture rule. The rule was the same when W was in office. It doesn’t seem like it took 60 Republicans all the time for Bush to get things through. Now, either 1. I’m wrong about this, or 2. The Democrats cooperated better with Bush, or 3. Bush just scared the Democrats like he scared the country.
Bush got what he wanted. Obama didn’t.
On his choices. I expected more stimulus in the form of cash in the hands of the people. I figure I got $15/week. Or was that a month?
I expected a great expansion of infrastructure. I did see a lot of road building in Pennsylvania, but I keep hearing about all this water infrastructure that is needed in and around New York City. I expected to at least hear about car battery charging station for our new electric fleets. More infrastructure for our new non petroleum economy. I want to see new bridges and more wind turbines. I haven’t seen it so far except for the wind turbines.
Increased regulation and finance reform. Not yet! I confess I don’t understand how it is possible that several major banks were within hours of failing unless the government bailed them out, and yet now they’re making record profit. I feel it must be a trick of finance. It was tricks of finance that got us near economic “death’s door”. Remember. Without Bush’s and Obama’s bailouts several major banks would have failed. I suspect most people just can’t understand that, or those that can have forgotten. This country was at the edge of the cliff. Yes. The really really steep drop was below our feet and the banks had just handed us an anvil!
Jobs. I have friends with no jobs, who worked their who lives and were working this time last year. Several of them who worked honestly and honorably and were caused to have their lives completely turned over because of greed at least, and I think criminal activity on the part of big banks. My friends are suffering. The banks are thriving. That just doesn’t feel right.
At least one of those friends lost his health insurance. His wife, a waitress, doesn’t get health insurance. They want it. He wants work. They can’t have either. He buys his prescriptions online from overseas. Is that what we want?
And yet, I was surprised, and a little disappointed that Obama spent so much of his good will of the people, on reforming health care. It just didn’t seem the largest problem he faced. Wait! Wait! I’m for universal health care. But not job 1. And this bill that is currently in committee. The Republicans, and I can speak of Charles Grassley as a specific example though I believe there were many and they were organized to do this, said they wanted to work with the White House, all the while telling their local party constituents that if they joined the process, they could delay it as long as possible and maybe the party as a whole would have time to kill it. I believe they lied. They delayed for the purpose of destroying while saying they were trying to help. Forget Death Panels. Their crime is saying “we want to work with the president” then working against him.
W’s wars. Obama is helping us to leave Iraq. Its a mess. I hope it gets better. We should leave. We are leaving.
Afghanistan. That’s different. I’ve long held my tongue on Afghanistan because we were attacked from there. I’ve thought about it a lot.
I think we should get out. Its not really a country. Its a group of tribes who roam the badlands. We messed up the place where the people who attacked us were from. We “conquered” Afghanistan already. Yes, the Taliban is reconstituting itself in Afghanistan to some degree. Yes, the Afghanis treat their women horribly. So do the North Koreans. The war in Korea was never peacefully resolved. Should we go back there and save those people? How about Somalia? Haiti? Yemen?
Besides. Johnny’s going to Afghanistan. I don’t want Johnny to go to Afghanistan.
And its worth stating this obvious fact. I’m against war. War is a bad idea.
Another fact. We are facing an organized group of criminals. How is Osama Bin Laden like John Gotti? Discuss.
And one more thing about Afghanistan … isn’t the Taliban hiding in Pakistan? Should we attack Pakistan? Oh yeah, I forgot. We are.
Let’s not bomb Iran. We have a wellspring of pro-American sentiment there. Must we blow them up?
Meanwhile banks are still allowed to play in the oil futures market. This change happened under the W. This should have been changed back to the way it was before the W. Come on! People are profiting in oil, who neither discover, nor excavate or even take possession of it. That’s wrong and its bad for little people like me.
Come on!
There’s still no first class hospital in New Orleans? Really? Really?
Oh yeah. Jobs.
Now I am part of that liberal left that holds a wellspring of good feeling and hope for Obama’s success (and can we please take back that word people? Liberal. I’m a liberal. Your a liberal. Yeah, I’m progressive, but its just weak to call ourselves progressive, if its because we’re afraid of saying liberal. And don’t say Libertarian. You WANT the government doing SOME stuff!) So I’m part of this group that holds a deep well of good feeling for Obama. I think I know what he’s about and I’m for those things. And I’m well aware of the countervailing forces trying their best just to make him unsuccessful.
I believe his own party is a problem for him. I know he let the Congress lead on several major issues, and the Congress got all selfish and infighting grabby greedy on him.
Ok, lets admit that the government of the Great Green State of New York is totally dysfunctional. It was dominated by two guys for years, one of each party (Bruno and Silver) and whoever was in the governor’s mansion was the third.
But basically Bruno and Silver could stop, or make deals to allow, anything that might happen in New York.
Then we got ALL DEMOCRATS (and before you get paranoid, I’m a liberal). What happens as soon as the Democrats take control of the Senate? One of them immediately makes a deal with the Republicans to gain power for himself. He brings one more wishy washy Dem with him, gets his brother a $120,000/yr job and gets caught.
All about the politicians. Nothing about the people.
Then the former head of the NY Republican Party gets convicted of what? Non providing of expected services or something very close to that.
They’re a mess!
So into this mess steps David Paterson. Not a skilled politician. Remember he AND his wife confessed to infidelity right at the start of his term, without anyone even asking!
There was the whole Caroline Kennedy non nomination thing. VERY bad image for the Gov.
And let’s face it. Saturday Night Live didn’t do his image any good.
But then he got a makeover. Doesn’t look so scruffy now.
And he’s had the guts to stand up to this corrupt legislature and say that if you don’t give me enough money to pay the states bills, I’m going to cut payments!!!
Californians voted out property taxes. Remember Prop13 ? Then their legislature votes in all kinds of services. Then they run out of money.
At least, during a time of significantly diminishing tax returns. Remember Wall Street isn’t paying as many billions in taxes on those bonuses that didn’t come in ’08, and Mr Patterson has the guts to say that we’re not California and we’re going to pay our bills.
I think he’s got smarts and guts and really actually is interested in the well being of my beloved Great Green State of New York.
Say it again, Word Whore. The silky siren voice of a writer. Reading.
That's not The Word Whore ... that's the Air Out My Shorts girl
Maybe it takes a reader. Ya know, if you’ve watched American Idol, you know not everyone can sing. Well I’m here to tell you not everyone can read. Read out loud so that people get it.
And not everyone can write.
Those of us who can’t? Get our stories read on Air Out My Shorts.
AOMS doesn’t provide producer credits but Preston Buttons (really? Preston Buttons?) produces this show and the sound, like TTN, is brilliant. Buttons can also read. Together Buttons and The Whore bring you some of the best, worst writing (and hopefully once in a while some that are not wholly bad).
The thing is you just have to go with it. These two drunk Torontoites (Torontonians?) Indulge their predilection for potables while somehow managing to not mangle the English language. Air Out My Shorts has a good time at their own expense.
Which perhaps is why we just like to listen to them. They take nothing seriously. Well, there’s the booze.
Really. This is simply the most fun podcast to listen to (excepting episode 100 which, I hate to say, was godawful!) Its a fun fun show. And if they ever get the phone lines working again, could once again become a “call – out” show, where you could listen to Angry Phone Guy and others.
Preston Buttons and The Whore Whore make my day every time they post a show. Go on. Feel it.
A friend of mine said the other day, that things happen for a reason. I wouldn’t care to speculate on why I got run over. I think its just bullshit. I believe in coincidence.
Anyway. Imagine me young. Thin. Sitting on the wooden steps in front of the house the 5 of us were renting. Its the kind of upstate New York humid hot summer day that makes you not want to lay your hands at your sides, especially if you’re not wearing a shirt. Wagner came out and sat with me. Me, waiting to get dressed to go to my new job as a cook. He just being social sat next to me.
My 1970 Mustang rolled down the gravel driveway. Backwards. You need to understand that it had sat there, next to the house all night. There was no one in it. It was in gear, in first, not running. Listen to a car on gravel sometime. It makes a crunching sound.
“Don’t get behind it” says Wagner casually.
But I do because I’ve pushed cars for years. I’ve pushed a lot of cars. Bigger cars. Up hill.
Oh yeah. Did I mention that the driveway fell away steeply as you backed down it. Backed down like the Mustang was doing on its own? I think I failed to mention the campground. Yes. We were out in the country. Big yard. Deer in the back. And children playing down the hill across the road in the campground below.
I got behind the car to push. Wagner took the door handle.
I slipped in the gravel.
Did I mention the sound of gravel? Well picture yourself laying in it, looking at the rear tire, rolling backwards toward your head. Imagine it. I still can. I had the time to tell myself that this was the way that I was going to die.
The tire ran over my head. Did I ever mention the hard head stories? Another car. Mom’s lap. The steel dash with the clock, now and forever at 3:23?
My hard head survived the gravel. And the rubber. But the car had broken my shoulder. I knew the front tire meant real death. The weight of the car was all up front. I tried to roll out of the way, but the car kept slowly turning. Turning toward me. I on my back. Tread marks swelling on my face. My shoulder blade broken vertically. I put my foot on the side of the Mustang pushed and almost got away. The front tire down bearing down on that same hard head really scaring me. If my shoulder hadn’t been broken I probably could have rolled out of the way. But the rocker panel caught me at my hip, and just rolled me up like a jellyroll. Turning and pushing the car rolled me till we both stopped on the rosebush. The car on top, in the ditch in front of the house, then me, then the rosebush. Did I mention no shirt?
My feet were sticking out from under the side of the car. My head was between my knees. My 1970 Mustang sitting on my ass. But the good news was we had stopped.
Wagner got the guys. Five bedrooms. Five guys. The four of them pushed the car up hill from the ditch and off from me so that I could get out. I was grateful.
I’d forgotten the heat. Never noticed the rosebush. They pushed the car off from me, just a bit, which was good. But they didn’t know it. Not so good. They decided it wouldn’t work and let the car back down. That was disappointing.
I don’t yell a lot. I yelled.
They tried again. Success. Three pushed the car. One pulled me.
We didn’t know my shoulder was broken. We didn’t know my back was broken in four places. But they could see the imprint from the right rear Firestone, so they drove me to town. The nurse just crooked her finger when she saw me.
I think the whole thing was coincidence. What could be the reason for such an adventure? Like I said. Its all bullshit.
There was this cute girl who worked at the hospital though. But that’s another story.
—-
I always knew that someday I’d write this story. Sage Tyrtle of Qn was looking for 3 minute stories. So I set this one down on paper. I always knew I’d write it. But it still raises my blood pressure. It took me 30 years to write it as a 3 minutes story. I tried to take a writer’s view and put it in a broader context. And yes. Its true.
Ok. Lest anyone has any doubts. We went. But in all this nostalgia, I’m wondering why Neil Armstrong never is seen talking about the moon trip. I’m just wondering.
There’s another astronaut, from a differnt mission. Mitchell may be his name who says he saw aliens.
I would like to know more about this film they showed. It seems logical that by this time it could have just been space junk. But now as I reflect back … I’d love to hear Neil Armstrong talk about this.
Unidentified doesn’t mean little green men. It means not identified.
Ken Singleton is the best Yankee announcer since Bill White. Managing the English language is a requirement for being an announcer of any kind, anchorman, weatherman, whatever. Ken manages to speak in complete senteneces, so that’s one thing.
Next, and almost as importantly. He doesn’t talk about himself too much. This is far trickier than it seems because the role of the former professional athlete in the broadcast booth is to tell the viewer the insider knowledge that the viewer wouldn’t know. Tom Seaver was good at this. Keith Hernandez is good at this, however both of them like themselves a little too much to keep it interesting for the viewer. Hernandez especially.
The thing about Ken is that he’s the lead announcer, as well as the expert. Unless Micheal Kay gets there and inserts his bad puns, and asserts his irrelevant and often incorrect opinions. Then he is the lead announcer and the broadcast goes down hill. Surprisingly Kay is good at interviewing. The difference is that when he is an interviewer Micheal Kay is asking about other people.
Bobby Murcer and Phil Rizzuto were fun Yankee announcers, and among my personal favorites, but Murcer had real trouble with sentence structure and Rizzuto … well … we just loved him anyway!
Al Lieter is a great compliment to Singleton. Both measured and modest in their tone and self interest and yet both capable of bringing you insights. I love to hear Lieter talking about pitching. The difference between himself and Hernandez is Al uses second person, Keith, first.
The Yankees seem to be mixing and matching broadcast teams these days. Personally, I love to hear Paul O’Neil in the booth. Again he never seems to get into the “I did it this way” kind of talk, while still bringing you into the world in which he had so much success. “Flash” Flaherty is similarly professional in his manner but Flash seems to avoid the joy that O’Neil brings. Paul O’Neil has fun as a broadcaster and that can be contagious.
David Cone does everything right. Has fun. Still his tenure in the booth is less wonderful. I think its his soft voice, in part, and I don’t prefer the nickname he uses when he works with Ken Singleton. He should call him “Kenny”. “Singy” is just awful. It is a weak and unimpressive way to address someone who was (as were almost all of these guys) a highly accomplished baseball player.
The best group in the booth was – Frank Messer, the consummate professional baseball broadcaster, Phil Rizzuto, the loveable homer, and Bill White the classy insider who never took himself too seriously.
My preferred group of Yankee broadcasters currently would be Ken Singleton, Al Lieter and Paul O’Neil.
So … here I am … Saturday night and I’m alone. I wasn’t alone earlier in the day. I had something to do. I was an MC in a show. It made me feel a little important. For a bit I was in the moment. Doing.
Then a group went to dinner. Had a toast. I was requested to make it. I think I said “To great productions and long runs.” I was a little bit proud.
Small pond. Not the smallest fish. Something. A moment.
Then home.
Alone.
A nap.
And its Saturday night and I’m watching baseball and I’m watching hockey and I can’t keep the television on any channel for more than thirty seconds except when I see Gilmore Girls because I was just telling Susan at work how brilliantly written it was and I watched to check and see if I was right. Crisp crisp dialogue. I was right.
Then I probably could have scraped up an omelet but I would have had to spend all that time alone with myself and in the moment, so I went to McDonalds and my camera was in the car so I took some more of my night lights pictures and then stopped at the video store because when you have a movie in its not like you are by yourself and even I can’t watch THAT much Gilmore Girls and so I came home with Saturday Night Live to look forward to and to that movie [7 pounds] and to those pictures which I haven’t looked at because … I don’t know why but now its almost 11:30 and I have enough things to do on Saturday night that I won’t have to spend time with myself any more in the moment just being … and … yeah, there’s this one other thing.
I told a friend of mine several years ago, that today was me day. And I named it after myself. Everybody else gets 1 2 or 3 or more days a year. They get their birtdays. They get their valentines. They get Christmas. [Christmas is such a chore for me. I have to inflict it on my sister and my father.] They get Mother’s Day and Father’s day. Boss’es Day. Secretaries Day. Most people have anniversaries. There are times during the year for people to remind them, that they know they exist.
I know its proper modesty not to go around trumpeting your Birthday. And I’m all for humility. I think its the most underrated of virutues.
But for today, I need to proclaim MY birthday. Its my one day a year! I’ll have 364 days a year of humility. God knows I’m not a fountain of the other virtues, but today I’m not even going to push Humility.
Today, is my day, (with apologies to Michael Jordan and Hal Holbrook). Today? Happy Birthday to me!
